Compliments and Hypocrisy (in English)

Yesterday I had an MRI on left knee (I will explain what's going on with my knee in the future...). At the end of the session, the radiologist congratulate me for staying quiet during the session (no more than 4 minutes...). I just simply did what I was told, laid on my back without moving for a while,... "You did a Great Job", she proclaim.

Let's face it, the Spaniards, we don't often pay compliments. On occasions we might drop a few words of acknowledgment but praising each other is not the usual way to manage our social relationships. Often, when we receive a compliment we suspect: "Hmm, what does he/she wants from me..?". There must be some sort of anthropologic studies around this matter and perhaps it has to do with our endemic fratricide spirit, who know?

In the USA, the compliments are social currency. Here, your neighbor will tell you how 'original' is your yard (even if it is a total mess), the supermarket cashier will praise your the type of salami you are buying (she might not know the difference between salami and chorizo) or at work, after your last public presentation that was simply pathetic, there will be always somebody who will dedicate you a "Nice Job". Obviously some of all these nice words are more sincere than other and occasionally they are related to business and customer retention, but as I said, rarely you will go to sleep at night without having heard any words of appraisal.

When I started working for NIKE, in my first meetings I noticed that I wasn't really connecting with my American colleagues. After observing the group dynamics, I realized that whenever I had to give them some feedback, I always started and focused on the negatives or the areas for improvement and in the end, time permitting, I could mention some positives points. That was my first Cultural Shock with the Americans. I found out how they actually worked the opposite way: First an overall praise, then some areas for improvement to finalize again with a positive reinforcement, a traditional sandwich approach. In general, this is a very efficient system of coexistence, the personal appraisal removes any initial resistance to negative feedback and creates a feel good vibe and a more relaxed environment for constructive critique.

Does that mean that the Americans are more hypocrite than Spaniards? I don't think so. Social practices have nothing to do with individual values. Without any doubt, in United States you will meet hypocrite people... and so do you in Spain.